Time for a Prison Break?

Don't we all create our own little prisons that we need to break out of now and then? I certainly do.

In a former life I couldn't say no. That meant anytime someone asked me to do something -- bake cookies for PTA, serve on a committee, take care of their kids, shoulder another project at the office -- I'd smile and cough out, "Yes, of course."

My inability to say no often led me to seek a more hermit like existence, cutting myself off from others who would make demands on me. In essence, creating an even more narrow little jail cell.
These days my prison consists of living my life around work schedules, writing deadlines and the beck and call of loved ones near and far. Illness, aches and pains, demands of the job, chores always needing attention.... I'm afraid I'm the kind of jailbird, that even though the door swings open, I still sit on my little cot behind the bars. It has been so long since I thought about what I wanted to do, I can't consider it any more. Every thought is about 'we'.

Yet, sometimes I have to mentally escape from the realities that surround me.

Lately I've stepped into another world and find myself returning to it, even in the midst of reality. In an earlier post, I mentioned reading the Outlander series. I'm still reading. I can't get enough and yet I worry that I'm running out of books and may soon be forced to return to life without Claire and Jamie, return to the 21st century instead of pre-revolutionary Colonial America.

Without them, I will be forced to concentrate on getting the oil changed in my car, dealing with repairmen, blood tests, trips to the grocery, balancing budgets, cleaning the hot tub, figuring out why our lawn died.

But for now I think of baking bread, chopping wood, clearing fields, snake bite remedies and making a syringe out of a snake fang and some tubing. I think of porcupine quill sewing needles, sitting before a hearth fire with a pot of stew (or laundry) bubbling in a big kettle while knitting stockings for my family.

Perhaps the real thing I embrace about this hard scrabble life is that they can provide for themselves and their loved ones themselves. They make or grow or harvest or invent whatever they need to survive. They have control over this very basic daily life. Of course on the horizon lies war, enemies, disease, death. But then, it is a book, a series. And as long as I know there is another book in the series, I know that Claire and Jamie will continue their lives, survive the hardships, and be free to make the choices that matter to them. No cubicles, no bosses, no timelines or deadlines other than the changing seasons.

I want a life as ordered and reliable as a book with a happy ending. Sometimes, I just need to escape into another world to find it. The best part of escapist reading -- I can always return. Usually I bring a bit of the book back with me. While going about my own list of chores, I recall how the characters coped -- knowing that Jamie could survive the horrors of war, how could I not survive scrubbing showers and toilets and floors?

Funny, too. Although Jamie is this amazing fantasy man -- I see him in my husband. Or perhaps I see my husband in him. While reading about Gabaldon's character, I realize that for almost 36 years, I've been living with a man that many call hero and write books about.

With a refreshed view of my surroundings, I realize that my life, my circumstances are only a prison as long as I view them with the wrong attitude. But in order to find that out -- I must see my life through the pages of a book. Others may find escape in other avenues. But escape we must now and then, just to see more clearly.

P.S. Salon offers an interesting column about the Outlander series and Gabaldon's 'backwards' romance techniques. I highly recommend the series to historic romance lovers, history buffs, mystery buffs, and sci-fi/fantasy audiences. The writing is above the norm, too.

So many books!

The summer reading habit remains strong and vibrant. In a perpetual summer, it is difficult not to set work aside and read year around. Temperatures are reaching into the 90s, the true Florida summer has arrived, and most of us are beginning our hibernation until the temperatures cool. It is the perfect time to read. Well, when isn't the perfect time?

Maybe perfect because people are introducing me to such exquisite books. I previously mentioned Diane Ackerman's Cultivating Delight: A Natural History of My Garden. That one is a keeper. I'm checking out Amazon and buying a copy that I can revisit again and again.

Amazon is my new best friend and worst enemy to my budget, I fear. For in addition to Ackerman's delight, a friend turned me on to the Outlander series by another Diane -- UK author Diana Gabaldon. I zipped through the first book Outlander and its 627 pages finishing up at 2 a.m. Friday night. It was that bittersweet moment when you've reached a satisfying ending and at the same time realize you've finished the book and must say good-bye to the land, time, and characters. Thankfully this is the first of five or maybe it is six books in the series and I'm heartened to hear that the author does not disappoint. So I'm impatiently waiting for book two to arrive: Dragonfly in Amber.

I'm not normally a staunch sci-fi or fantasy reader. Yes, yes, I enjoyed Harry Potter, and of course Charles de Lint's novels, as well as Alice Hoffmann which may or may not be sci-fi/fantasy but includes a bit of woo-woo in her writings (think Practical Magic) and of course Madeline L'Engle and Ursula K. Le Guin. Maybe Gabaldon's series is not strictly classified sci-fi or fantasty. It smacks of bodice ripper romance, time travel, historic Scotland (1700s) and a touch of sadistic homosexuality, but mostly it exemplifies rare fine story telling.

In the meantime I may hang around Gabaldon's website or Google interviews online. I always like to know more about the author and the process and what else she's working on. Speaking of websites, check out Marisha Pessl's site for her first novel Special Topics in Calamity Physics published by the Penguin Group for a six figure advance. This novel has best seller, movie, and success written all over it. The writing is exquisite, the voice, the creativity, the plotting, the mystery....well done. Quite a departure from Gabaldon's setting, this novel takes place in contemporary U.S. and tells of a daughter and her father, a professor on the edge of academia. The heart of the book is actually a murder mystery, but this is so much more and so finely written that I expect to savor it for awhile.

A writing friend's reading list has me scrambling to line up copies to read next:

Hearbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - David Eggers

Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

Bangkok 8 - John Burdett

Gates of Fire - Steven Pressfield

Angle of Repose - Wallace Stegner

The Mercy of Thin Air - Ronlyn Domingue (I know nothing about this book, but the title intrigues me).

So there is much to do. Much to read. I love to hear what others are reading. Please feel free to post your favorite reading lists.