Her book about writing "Bird by Bird" gave me permission to write a 'shitty' first draft. Her book "Traveling Mercies" left me sobbing and speechless and so much more human. And in a recent interview for her latest book "Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith" she commented:
In general, I think Grace (Eventually) is a less angry book. I like how I'm aging, except that my back hurts more often, my knees crack like twigs when I squat, and my memory fails more frequently, in more public and therefore humiliating ways. But I think I complain less. As my best friend said when she was dying, and I was obsessing about my butt, "You just don't have that kind of time."Anne is the only author, hers are the only books, that are classified as 'Christian' and are sprinkled somewhat liberally with four letter words, anger, dislike, self-dissolusionment and pure honesty.
But back to her butt comment. Time has been bothering me. I can't believe 2007 has finally ended -- a tough year for many of us. But more astonishing, January has come and gone. I still have no plans for the rest of the year. I haven't scouted out a writing workshop to attend, I haven't planned any travel so I can write about it, no weekend getaways. And most important, no plan on how to get this novel of mine written before this time next year.
My life stretches forward defined by what hours I work at my part-time job. It seems like there should be more to my life than that. A few deadlines for writing projects are sprinkled in, too few. And nothing at all in my weekly planner about the novel or goals. Part of me is afraid to set goals or a writing schedule because that just means I will fail and have the paper to prove it.
Visualization seems a reasonable alternative. I've tried seeing myself as a successful writer -- maybe I need to see myself as a 'working' writer. One with butt in chair (it doesn't matter the size of the butt or the chair) and writing, writing, writing. Maybe that's my downfall. I keep dreaming about the results of my work, but not the process. As Coach Lee (whoever that is) says, "The journey is just as important as the destination. Take time to enjoy the process."
Well, now how do I do that without laying out a work schedule? How do I do that without setting myself up to fail? And is it just possible that I am not a writer? That it is not the goal of my life that I should be pursuing? If not, then what? These are rather frightening questions at this stage of my life, is it time to follow another path on my life journey?
Maybe it is time to dust off my copy of "Bird by Bird" and see what Anne has to say.