Wednesday, May 28, 2008

It's a strange world we live in where elephants make music, cranes dance, and some bugs carry their own flashlights. And yet I think in such small and insignificant realms when thinking of things "I" can accomplish.

Today's list of things to do:
Wash the dishes
Wash a load of laundry
Dry a load of laundry
Try a new crockpot recipe
Put the clean clothes away
Get cleaned up for work
Work at the library for four hours
How pathetic a list is that? And this is a creative, energized, kick-ass day. Yet too often this is all my energy allows. Some say its age. Some say it is Florida (perennial retirement mode). Some say I'm stressed and need to relax even more.

I think what I need is motivation. When cleaning house I usually play my Queen CD and get alot more accomplished. If music can soothe the savage breast, soften rocks, bend a knotted oak. Perhaps it can get a lazy woman to move her butt. The soundtrack from "Chicago," the movie, seems to produce similar stimulation. But I keep trying to sing with it and then I want to dance. Not a pretty sight.

Maybe some inspiration. I picked up a copy of Julia Cameron's "Heart Steps: Prayers and Declarations for a Creative Life." The title tires me out just reading it. But I have Chicago playing, so I can handle it.

The titles of her segments are big chunks to swallow without reading anything more.
1. The Universe responds to my dreams and needs
2. I have the power to receive great abundance
3. The dreams of my heart are the dreams of the Universe dreaming through me.
4. The great Creator creates through me
5. The Universe watches over me with care....

I stumbled on the concept that the Universe even knows I exist! Power to receive great abundance? Is that a good thing? I wish the Universe, if it is dreaming through me, would also provide instructions on how to accomplish those dreams! And, if it cares so much why is one of my good friends tooling around in a wheelchair, another is facing death by lung cancer (4-6 months to live) and my husband, well you've heard that story.... Not to mention that my brother -- MY BROTHER -- is a Republican! He voted for Bush -- twice! And my knee hurts.

It seems my abundance has been rather negative.

Oh I know that whole story about 'cup is half empty' attitude colors what I see. So what abundance have I received --

  • April was a good month with three major markets publishing my writing.
  • The sandhill cranes that live next door have two babies that we're watching grow up. I haven't seen any of them dance, but then I think the dance usually precedes the kids and parenting.
  • Derrol and the riluzole seem to be getting along well and he starts the lithium soon. We live in hope that it will arrest the progression of the ALS.
  • I have good friends who AREN'T dying or fighting disabilities -- yet.
  • I wasn't one of the 70-plus people the county laid off/fired/let go in order to balance their budget.
  • I don't live in China
  • So far no hurricane has blown us away.
  • The clothes washer and the dishwasher are working nicely.
  • My two sons not only love me, they like me, too. And I like them (I adore them).
  • My husband loves me. I love him. His bad habits aren't any worse than mine.
  • I've been reading some good books lately. Thank you Universe for Highlanders.
  • I was never married to Julia Cameron....
I guess if elephants can play music, bugs can flash their tails, and cranes can dance, I should be able to get the Universe, the Great Creator to help me do more than the laundry.

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